i HATE testing!!!

I hate taking a test as it is. But teachers just really wanna make your life so damn complicated. Why can’t the questions on a test just be straightforward? Teachers wanna make it complicated with these 100 word paragraph with all these useless information with only THREE of the words relate to the problem. Bitch, this aint no damn WORD SEARCH. Give me my information, give me my problem.

                The other night, I was up late studying for this economic test reading about the damn producer, the consumer, the decomposers and shit. I come in to class the next day, took the test, and I’m like “Girl, I know this, I KNOW ALL OF THIS THIS! Of course! If the hoe is cheaper, I’m gonna have more incentive to buy her. A hoe and a prostitute are substitute goods” and I’mma lookin’ like, “Girl, I’mma pass this.” I get my test back. 76! I’mma lookin like, “ooh what the fuck?!!” Bitch mislaid it. Did I have a defective shading of answers? And she be lookin’ at me like “Oh Jonas, I remember grading your test; you need to read your questions more carefully. Most of the questions you missed were double negative.” I was like “Uhm can I see one of the questions?” She gave me one of the questions: Which of the following is NOT related INVERSELY to NOT some shit but NOT this and NOT that but NOT this, NOT my ass on something NOT this. “Uh bitch, that was NOT double negative. That was some quadruple I-don’t-mind on topless some shit.”

                And what the fuck is up with these damn TRUE OR FALSE? True or False is supposed to be easy! It’s supposed to be 50/50 but when you ask me questions like “IS THE RAINBOW BLUE?” I mean, yeah it sure got blue in it so you can consider it blue, but it ain’t ALL blue so you can consider it NOT blue, it’s like askin’, true or false: is Jonas’s asshole limitless? AIN’T NOBODY KNOW!!

                And the MATCHING TYPE!! Matching Type used to be my favourite part of the test because something always has to correspond with something so even if you didn’t know ALL the information, you can still get it right BUT THEY GOTTA FUCK OUT OVER TWO by givin’ you more options and answers, by sayin’ some shit like, YOU CAN USE THE OPTIONS MORE THAN ONCE, SOME OF THE OPTIONS, YOU AIN’T GONNA USE AT ALL!!! Damn bitch! What the fuck! You completely missed the point of matching! Matching means one goes with two. Not one goes with two with three with four! This ain’t no damn 4G!

                Don’t even get me started on THREE-RESPONSE. Oh what’s a three-response huh? . . .  Fuck . . . You . . . That’s my response. AND WHEN I DON’T KNOW AN ANSWER, I TAKE A NAP. And then I wake up and I go, “Oh you know I haven’t used D in a while, let me mark D. Oh I haven’t used A in a while, let me mark A. Oh I haven’t used C, it’s gotta be C!”

                I mean, really, shit should just be straightforward. Questions on a test should read: Spell CAT, spell DOG, Spell PIG. I better get a hundred on that.