BEST BREAK UP ADVICE EVER!

               Break ups… are probably one of the hardest things a person could get over because there’s so much emotional stress involved. Basically losing somebody. You don’t necessarily have to be dating that person either. Best friends break up. Families break up. You could break up with your dog. Damn even Destiny’s Child broke up. Though all of these sounded bad, one thing you’ll realize is: it ain’t even that crucial. Somebody breaking up with you gonna be the least of your problems in life. It’s hard. Girl, I know it’s gonna be difficult but bitch, YOU GON’ BE OKAY!

                You shouldn’t go to relationships just for fun. Video games are fun, breaking my heart is game over! What I struggle most with emotional break up is that I took the blame. All I said to myself, “What did I do wrong? It was all so good in the beginning, what did I do differently to mess it up?” And I try to figure out what was wrong with me and that’s why I would feel like shit and I think that’s what a lot of us do. We don’t believe in ourselves. We don’t understand how amazing we actually are because you know if you’ve a good boyfriend or girlfriend or not. And if in the duration of your relationship, you are faithful to your mate, YOU CAN’T HOLD YOURSELF RESPONSIBLE FOR AN ENDING.

                Sometimes we don’t even know our own self-worth and we wanna get back with the person who just broke up with us. We’re willing to change the way we look. We’re willing to beg! We’re willing to do anything just to get him to take you back. But honestly, if a person is relieved to have you out of their life, if breaking up with you makes them happy, their ASSHOLES!! And you shouldn’t feel sad about losing them! You might feel worthless to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your value.

                If after the break up, you can’t stop thinking about them, if everywhere you go, there’s something that reminds you of him, ask yourself this: IS HE THINKING ABOUT YOU?! You spend all your day thinking about him, but do you really think you’ve even crossed his mind for a split-second since the break up?! They don’t care about you, why should you care about them?!

                If your boyfriend cheated on you, don’t ever view him as ex. View him as SCUM! Because that’s what he is. If someone cheats on you, you end the relationship right there, you tell him to fuck off and you move along with your life. No use crying over spilt scum.

                I feel like, after your break up, you have to better yourself in some way. The break up sets you back two steps, bitch you gotta take four steps forward. The last break up I was in, I had a really bad cry. Hell, I’ve been sad for a while.  So you know what I got? Abs! sheeeeet! Fuck a boyfriend. Having abs is like having six boyfriends on your stomach who won’t ever leave you.

                To the people who had never experienced a break up before, the first time is gonna hurt bad! But that’s ok ‘cause we’re humans and we have feelings. Just cry yourself out until you feel better. That’s what I did. But just like any other disasters that happens to you in life. You just have to pick up the pieces and reassemble.

                Don’t hold grudges on your exes. Be grateful that they shared those relationships with you. Thank them! But don’t literally go thank them because they still dumped you and they’re still assholes and you don’t want them to feel so good about themselves. Alright?

you DON’T NEED a boyfriend to feel good!!!

Just because you don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean that you are ugly. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean that you’re fat. It doesn’t mean that you have a bad personality. It doesn’t mean that you stink. It might mean that you have a loose vagina (or probably not). It doesn’t mean shit. It just means that you don’t have a boyfriend because the circumstances aren’t right at the moment. I’ve been reading people’s statuses and they blog and it’s like they’ll have ten posts…and twelve of them would be about not having a boyfriend or wanting a boyfriend so badly and I’m like, “Girl, why? Why do you want a boyfriend so badly that you spend all your time writing about it?”

                It’s like, the people who write this blog, they be the ones who looks as sexy as hell. They be the ones that guys want to date. Like, I see this post. I read it. And then I go to their profile. And they be looking gorgeous. They’re smart. They’re friendly. They’re nice. They’re everything that you would want in a partner except THEY GOT NO TYPE OF SELF ESTEEM!!!
                They be like “Oh my god! I’ve never had a boyfriend. That must mean I’m sooo ugly. That must mean I’m sooo fat. I’ve never been kissed. I just wanna know how sex feels like.” Are you fucking kidding me?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Girl, you are fourteen! Oh god!

                It’s ok to wanna have that special someone but is not ok to feel sorry for yourself or blaming yourself just because you don’t. It’s like your menstruation. It happens at different times for different people. And I can assure you that: in your lifetime, you’ll have a boyfriend. You’ll have plenty of boyfriends. YOU MIGHT EVEN BECOME A TOTAL SLUT! Have a million boyfriends! But I’m just saying that it’s not the end of the world just because you don’t.

                We are all guilty of this. Even I was guilty of this. I used to be like “oh my god, if I had a boyfriend, I’d be so much more cumftable with myself, I’d be so much happier, I’d be so much more outgoing.” And then I had a boyfriend and like, NOTHING FUCKING CHANGED! If anything did change, it turns out to be more complicated. I had to text this

all the time, and I had to spend my money on him, The bastard was clingy,… I don’t do clingy.

If you’re not happy with yourself already, and you’re relying on a boyfriend to make you feel happy, you are gonna feel as sad as hell, I can promise you that. Because if a boyfriend is the only reason that you are happy, you are gonna be devastated once he leaves you. You’re gonna feel as though the only thing that brought you happiness had left. And you’re gonna be SAD! I mean fucking tears! Fucking depression! You gon be like “No mom, I don’t wanna eat because I’m fat.” I mean, it ain’t gon be pretty because relationships go bad. Relationships go bad ALL THE TIME. And you’re not gonna have a self-esteem to recover from it.

And you can try to give these people good advice, like “Girl, you’re pretty. Just wait for it. Don’t rush it. You’re a total catch. It’s gonna happen.” They just be like “No Jonas, I don’t know if it’s ever gonna happen for me, I’m too ugly.”

And the thing is, there not open for compliments. Their self-esteem is actually that low. And at that point I want to feel sorry for you. But if you’re already feeling sorry for yourself, why do I have to? I just want you to feel like fucking good about yourself.  You’re awesome. You have a lot to offer.

I mean go to tumblr, blog about your problems once. Let all the stress out. And then do something for yourself. Do something outrageous. Showcase yourself to the world. You can’t just wait for somebody to come into your house and be like “Let’s have sex”.. That’s rape!

It’s so stressful seeing all these beautiful people in tumblr who has so many interesting things about themselves and so much to showcase but they can’t feel good about themselves unless there’s somebody standing next to them, and they can’t do anything on their own without somebody’s reinforcements, like, look at me, I do anything I want…ANYTHING! And if somebody would tell me I’m doing everything wrong, do you think I care? No! ‘cause imma be like “Fuck you. Nobody asked for your opinion, nobody asked you to be born!”

So just feel good about yourself dammit. If you’re desperately dying for this boyfriend, CALM YOUR TITS! AND JUST WAIT. Blog about something good. Blog about why you love yourself. Blog about what’s great about being single. Fantasize your future boyfriend, just don’t feel sorry for yourself okay?

MATH IS SO USELESS!

Fuck math! Fuck math in the ass! I hate it, it’s pointless, it makes no sense! Everything about math pisses me off mainly because it’s useless outside of school. I mean, if I’m gonna be going to school to learn something, at least let it be useful like how to suck a dick.

                When the hell am I gonna use a coordinate pair?! Never! When I found out what a coordinate pear was: …two numbers. How do I motherfucking know?!

This is what a pear is!

I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re confused! They wanna teach you shit like: trigonometry functions and some SOHCATOA shit, derivatives or like…logarithms. Bitch you look like a fucking logarithm!

                See, if I’m in a cafeteria and I’m eating my food and I’m ready to throw away my trash and there are two trash cans on either side of me, I’m not gonna fucking sit there and do a math problem to find out which distance is closer. I’m just going to glance at them and be like “okay, this one’s closer” and I’mma be on my way. Even if it wasn’t closer I’m pretty sure in the time that it took me to walk the extra distance, it probably took more time to sit there and solve a fucking math problem to find out which one was actually closer! I just can’t stand like, why you wanna do useless shit. Useless shit that’s COMPLICATED at that!

                I mean after you learn how to add and subtract, you are fucking done!
                urgh! I gotta do my math homework. Some radicals and some limit shit. (sigh) The limit is like the end of my fucking asshole. There is no limit.