i HATE testing!!!

I hate taking a test as it is. But teachers just really wanna make your life so damn complicated. Why can’t the questions on a test just be straightforward? Teachers wanna make it complicated with these 100 word paragraph with all these useless information with only THREE of the words relate to the problem. Bitch, this aint no damn WORD SEARCH. Give me my information, give me my problem.

                The other night, I was up late studying for this economic test reading about the damn producer, the consumer, the decomposers and shit. I come in to class the next day, took the test, and I’m like “Girl, I know this, I KNOW ALL OF THIS THIS! Of course! If the hoe is cheaper, I’m gonna have more incentive to buy her. A hoe and a prostitute are substitute goods” and I’mma lookin’ like, “Girl, I’mma pass this.” I get my test back. 76! I’mma lookin like, “ooh what the fuck?!!” Bitch mislaid it. Did I have a defective shading of answers? And she be lookin’ at me like “Oh Jonas, I remember grading your test; you need to read your questions more carefully. Most of the questions you missed were double negative.” I was like “Uhm can I see one of the questions?” She gave me one of the questions: Which of the following is NOT related INVERSELY to NOT some shit but NOT this and NOT that but NOT this, NOT my ass on something NOT this. “Uh bitch, that was NOT double negative. That was some quadruple I-don’t-mind on topless some shit.”

                And what the fuck is up with these damn TRUE OR FALSE? True or False is supposed to be easy! It’s supposed to be 50/50 but when you ask me questions like “IS THE RAINBOW BLUE?” I mean, yeah it sure got blue in it so you can consider it blue, but it ain’t ALL blue so you can consider it NOT blue, it’s like askin’, true or false: is Jonas’s asshole limitless? AIN’T NOBODY KNOW!!

                And the MATCHING TYPE!! Matching Type used to be my favourite part of the test because something always has to correspond with something so even if you didn’t know ALL the information, you can still get it right BUT THEY GOTTA FUCK OUT OVER TWO by givin’ you more options and answers, by sayin’ some shit like, YOU CAN USE THE OPTIONS MORE THAN ONCE, SOME OF THE OPTIONS, YOU AIN’T GONNA USE AT ALL!!! Damn bitch! What the fuck! You completely missed the point of matching! Matching means one goes with two. Not one goes with two with three with four! This ain’t no damn 4G!

                Don’t even get me started on THREE-RESPONSE. Oh what’s a three-response huh? . . .  Fuck . . . You . . . That’s my response. AND WHEN I DON’T KNOW AN ANSWER, I TAKE A NAP. And then I wake up and I go, “Oh you know I haven’t used D in a while, let me mark D. Oh I haven’t used A in a while, let me mark A. Oh I haven’t used C, it’s gotta be C!”

                I mean, really, shit should just be straightforward. Questions on a test should read: Spell CAT, spell DOG, Spell PIG. I better get a hundred on that.

BEST BREAK UP ADVICE EVER!

               Break ups… are probably one of the hardest things a person could get over because there’s so much emotional stress involved. Basically losing somebody. You don’t necessarily have to be dating that person either. Best friends break up. Families break up. You could break up with your dog. Damn even Destiny’s Child broke up. Though all of these sounded bad, one thing you’ll realize is: it ain’t even that crucial. Somebody breaking up with you gonna be the least of your problems in life. It’s hard. Girl, I know it’s gonna be difficult but bitch, YOU GON’ BE OKAY!

                You shouldn’t go to relationships just for fun. Video games are fun, breaking my heart is game over! What I struggle most with emotional break up is that I took the blame. All I said to myself, “What did I do wrong? It was all so good in the beginning, what did I do differently to mess it up?” And I try to figure out what was wrong with me and that’s why I would feel like shit and I think that’s what a lot of us do. We don’t believe in ourselves. We don’t understand how amazing we actually are because you know if you’ve a good boyfriend or girlfriend or not. And if in the duration of your relationship, you are faithful to your mate, YOU CAN’T HOLD YOURSELF RESPONSIBLE FOR AN ENDING.

                Sometimes we don’t even know our own self-worth and we wanna get back with the person who just broke up with us. We’re willing to change the way we look. We’re willing to beg! We’re willing to do anything just to get him to take you back. But honestly, if a person is relieved to have you out of their life, if breaking up with you makes them happy, their ASSHOLES!! And you shouldn’t feel sad about losing them! You might feel worthless to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your value.

                If after the break up, you can’t stop thinking about them, if everywhere you go, there’s something that reminds you of him, ask yourself this: IS HE THINKING ABOUT YOU?! You spend all your day thinking about him, but do you really think you’ve even crossed his mind for a split-second since the break up?! They don’t care about you, why should you care about them?!

                If your boyfriend cheated on you, don’t ever view him as ex. View him as SCUM! Because that’s what he is. If someone cheats on you, you end the relationship right there, you tell him to fuck off and you move along with your life. No use crying over spilt scum.

                I feel like, after your break up, you have to better yourself in some way. The break up sets you back two steps, bitch you gotta take four steps forward. The last break up I was in, I had a really bad cry. Hell, I’ve been sad for a while.  So you know what I got? Abs! sheeeeet! Fuck a boyfriend. Having abs is like having six boyfriends on your stomach who won’t ever leave you.

                To the people who had never experienced a break up before, the first time is gonna hurt bad! But that’s ok ‘cause we’re humans and we have feelings. Just cry yourself out until you feel better. That’s what I did. But just like any other disasters that happens to you in life. You just have to pick up the pieces and reassemble.

                Don’t hold grudges on your exes. Be grateful that they shared those relationships with you. Thank them! But don’t literally go thank them because they still dumped you and they’re still assholes and you don’t want them to feel so good about themselves. Alright?

you DON’T NEED a boyfriend to feel good!!!

Just because you don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean that you are ugly. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean that you’re fat. It doesn’t mean that you have a bad personality. It doesn’t mean that you stink. It might mean that you have a loose vagina (or probably not). It doesn’t mean shit. It just means that you don’t have a boyfriend because the circumstances aren’t right at the moment. I’ve been reading people’s statuses and they blog and it’s like they’ll have ten posts…and twelve of them would be about not having a boyfriend or wanting a boyfriend so badly and I’m like, “Girl, why? Why do you want a boyfriend so badly that you spend all your time writing about it?”

                It’s like, the people who write this blog, they be the ones who looks as sexy as hell. They be the ones that guys want to date. Like, I see this post. I read it. And then I go to their profile. And they be looking gorgeous. They’re smart. They’re friendly. They’re nice. They’re everything that you would want in a partner except THEY GOT NO TYPE OF SELF ESTEEM!!!
                They be like “Oh my god! I’ve never had a boyfriend. That must mean I’m sooo ugly. That must mean I’m sooo fat. I’ve never been kissed. I just wanna know how sex feels like.” Are you fucking kidding me?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Girl, you are fourteen! Oh god!

                It’s ok to wanna have that special someone but is not ok to feel sorry for yourself or blaming yourself just because you don’t. It’s like your menstruation. It happens at different times for different people. And I can assure you that: in your lifetime, you’ll have a boyfriend. You’ll have plenty of boyfriends. YOU MIGHT EVEN BECOME A TOTAL SLUT! Have a million boyfriends! But I’m just saying that it’s not the end of the world just because you don’t.

                We are all guilty of this. Even I was guilty of this. I used to be like “oh my god, if I had a boyfriend, I’d be so much more cumftable with myself, I’d be so much happier, I’d be so much more outgoing.” And then I had a boyfriend and like, NOTHING FUCKING CHANGED! If anything did change, it turns out to be more complicated. I had to text this

all the time, and I had to spend my money on him, The bastard was clingy,… I don’t do clingy.

If you’re not happy with yourself already, and you’re relying on a boyfriend to make you feel happy, you are gonna feel as sad as hell, I can promise you that. Because if a boyfriend is the only reason that you are happy, you are gonna be devastated once he leaves you. You’re gonna feel as though the only thing that brought you happiness had left. And you’re gonna be SAD! I mean fucking tears! Fucking depression! You gon be like “No mom, I don’t wanna eat because I’m fat.” I mean, it ain’t gon be pretty because relationships go bad. Relationships go bad ALL THE TIME. And you’re not gonna have a self-esteem to recover from it.

And you can try to give these people good advice, like “Girl, you’re pretty. Just wait for it. Don’t rush it. You’re a total catch. It’s gonna happen.” They just be like “No Jonas, I don’t know if it’s ever gonna happen for me, I’m too ugly.”

And the thing is, there not open for compliments. Their self-esteem is actually that low. And at that point I want to feel sorry for you. But if you’re already feeling sorry for yourself, why do I have to? I just want you to feel like fucking good about yourself.  You’re awesome. You have a lot to offer.

I mean go to tumblr, blog about your problems once. Let all the stress out. And then do something for yourself. Do something outrageous. Showcase yourself to the world. You can’t just wait for somebody to come into your house and be like “Let’s have sex”.. That’s rape!

It’s so stressful seeing all these beautiful people in tumblr who has so many interesting things about themselves and so much to showcase but they can’t feel good about themselves unless there’s somebody standing next to them, and they can’t do anything on their own without somebody’s reinforcements, like, look at me, I do anything I want…ANYTHING! And if somebody would tell me I’m doing everything wrong, do you think I care? No! ‘cause imma be like “Fuck you. Nobody asked for your opinion, nobody asked you to be born!”

So just feel good about yourself dammit. If you’re desperately dying for this boyfriend, CALM YOUR TITS! AND JUST WAIT. Blog about something good. Blog about why you love yourself. Blog about what’s great about being single. Fantasize your future boyfriend, just don’t feel sorry for yourself okay?

MATH IS SO USELESS!

Fuck math! Fuck math in the ass! I hate it, it’s pointless, it makes no sense! Everything about math pisses me off mainly because it’s useless outside of school. I mean, if I’m gonna be going to school to learn something, at least let it be useful like how to suck a dick.

                When the hell am I gonna use a coordinate pair?! Never! When I found out what a coordinate pear was: …two numbers. How do I motherfucking know?!

This is what a pear is!

I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re confused! They wanna teach you shit like: trigonometry functions and some SOHCATOA shit, derivatives or like…logarithms. Bitch you look like a fucking logarithm!

                See, if I’m in a cafeteria and I’m eating my food and I’m ready to throw away my trash and there are two trash cans on either side of me, I’m not gonna fucking sit there and do a math problem to find out which distance is closer. I’m just going to glance at them and be like “okay, this one’s closer” and I’mma be on my way. Even if it wasn’t closer I’m pretty sure in the time that it took me to walk the extra distance, it probably took more time to sit there and solve a fucking math problem to find out which one was actually closer! I just can’t stand like, why you wanna do useless shit. Useless shit that’s COMPLICATED at that!

                I mean after you learn how to add and subtract, you are fucking done!
                urgh! I gotta do my math homework. Some radicals and some limit shit. (sigh) The limit is like the end of my fucking asshole. There is no limit.

unforgiven!

FORGIVENESS ,FORGIVENESS ,
Try and let it go
Forgiveness
Just might save yourself
Forgiveness
Let it fucking go
Forgiveness
Forgiveness, yeah I still believe
That sometimes we all need
Forgiveness
Can music change the world, yeah I think it can
Can love conquer all, well I know it can
Can we tear down this wall between you and me
Not without forgiveness
Loving lying enemy
I have seen your face before
Never thought again I’d see
Didn’t want to anymore
And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking way too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real

Written by:
Ian Jonas

BREAKING DAWN review

                For those people who love Breaking Dawn, what are you, stupid?! This book is fricking pointless!! It makes no damn sense!!! It’s not that romantic, it has no action, it has no twist, and it doesn’t even have a sense! It’s NOTHING compared to both Harry Potter and Cirque du Freak!

                First of all, Edward and Jake bargained to have sex with Bella. Yeah. Great. Edward, your wife is not a whore!

                All of Stephenie Meyer’s vampire rules were pretty much void in this book as well. She said that the vamps had no body fluid aside from their venom– so where did Edward’s little swimmers come from? The Easter Bunny?

                The characters acted, well, out of character. Bella was more annoying and didn’t act like Bella, Edward was a little too aloof, Jacob went all psycho in Book 3 (he didn’t act like Jacob at all. The entire middle portion was from his perspective, but he completely fell out of the story in the last section), Rosalie all but disappeared (even though she’d been so important in Book 2), and there were just way too many new characters introduced.

AND, the writing sucked. I felt like I was reading bad fan fiction. It was just awful. Did you realize that just because of Alice’s stupid intervention, the most awaited awesome fight was fucking postponed?! What the heck was that?! Stephenie, we are grown ass people! We need action in our motherfucking lives! You’re capable of putting sex in novel but you can’t write a fucking death match?! It’s like you’re telling me that after all Bella’s training to defeat the Volturi, after all the Cullen’s hard work gathering super bunch of super fucking vampires, Stephenie’s just gonna put this all into garbage?! Bitch! This is NOT a children’s junior novel! This is an adult thing! SOMEONE HAS TO FUCKING DIE!

It’s like you mean to tell me that Megatron can just walk away from Optimus Prime?! It’s like you’re telling me that if Stephenie Meyer were the one to write Harry Potter, she’s just gonna let Voldemort away after all Harry’s hard work destroying all the horcruxes?! Like “Oh, Harry, you see, I’m sort of getting tired already. Can we just save this fight for next time? I still have a snake to feed, you see. And I’m really really getting kinda worn out” and Harry was like, “Oh yeah sure. Take all the time you needed. Bye! Kill ya next time!”… Are you fucking kidding me?!

I literally wanna punch Stephenie Meyer right now! She makes no damn sense! I hate her! She makes all hard work become garbage in the end!!

Urgh! She makes me soooo damn angry!

i have a BRAND NEW PERSONAL ASUS LAPTOP!!!

I don’t know what just happened. This is frickin’ magical! I never even thought of having myself a laptop until like two days ago. And then in just a fucking snap, “KABOOM!” I now have a laptop! It just happened! That’s how magical it was!

                Actually, this is what really happened. The other day, my aunt was telling me how much it costs her when the computer gets damaged and she’ll have to pay for every repairing and shit…. And what’s worse is that, I’m the one guy who’s always in front of the computer and now who else to be blamed but me! And she was furious and she was like, “I’ve had it! We’re gonna buy you a laptop!”. And then all of a sudden it was fucking true.

                Okay so here’s the whole story, a month ago, my cousin Jayson paid us a visit and then he turned to the computer. And then, well, he acquired some virus and my aunt was devastated and she paid an expert to fix it and so it was fixed.. and then a week ago, the keyboard was disfigured and here goes my precious laptop! So this is how my laptop looks like.

Isn’t he just gorgeous? He looks a lot better than my exboyfriend.. and now I’m in love with him.. my laptop..my oh so handsome laptop..

i love my senior year!

I fucking loved my senior life. I mean, like, I think it honestly is the happiest section at the entire school…honestly, really. We’re the only section who has a rest house and we, like, sleep over there, like, always. I don’t know but I think I really owned them like they owned me. I’ve never put too much devotion on such section. I’m so in love with each of them. And we all just cling to each other like we’re the only people in the world.

For some mysterious reason, they became my life. It’s like my boyfriend is a whole class of wacky people. I guess this was the positive result of being heartbroken over some bastard fucking dimwit! I forcefully devote myself to something else instead of him. And that’s where I found my lifetime ultimate pals. And I experienced a whole fucking lot of thing here, especially my new love life but I’m not gonna put that into too much details. Cutting a long story short, it was a perfect love life. Not too clingy, not too crazy, not too serious. It was simple, no complications. It was happy.

And you see, in here I had my personal chums (Robert, Mina, Sheny, Oscar, Paeng, Daddy Kenneth) who loves me oh-so-much they could literally die for me. Actually sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve their love anymore ‘cause I think I could never love them back as much as they did to me. But then I was wrong. I realized in the end, I loved them too much already that I just can’t let them go.

So uhm also… special thanks to my mom who supports me about my devotion to my classmates and being not so tight on me (I think she’s the only mom in the world who gives too much independence to his 15 year old son), like, sometimes I don’t deserve them anymore, like, she knows (cause I tell her) that I drink tequila with my pals but she doesn’t give a fuck about ‘cause she knows I’m happy and she knows I’m responsible enough to control myself against drunkenness. So mom, thanks thanks thanks for putting too much trust on me… love ya!

Rape Prevention; BITE IT OFF!

If you ever get raped, you better bite his dick off!!!

                The other day, my buddy was telling me about these serial killers who raped then killed their victims and they kept this on for, like, years and they killed, like, 30-40 people. My only misunderstanding with this is: How do they keep this on for so long…?…
                …’cause I know. Had they raped me, they never would’ve gotten the chance to rape anybody else EVER! My mind is that, if you ever get raped, in the end, you’re gonna die, you know. He’s gonna rape you then he’s gonna kill you. It doesn’t matter if you listen to him or if you do whatever he says calmly. It doesn’t matter if you tell him you ain’t gonna tell anybody else. He’s still probably gonna kill you unless you say some crazy shit like, “I AM YOUR DAUGHTER”. Then maybe he won’t kill you and rape you.

But I see that if ever I’m gonna die regardless, if I’m gonna go down, I’m gonna go down like a BUFF! And I’m taking your penis with me. If I ever got raped, I’ll be like “Ahh! Ahh! Come put your dick in my mouth! I actually want you! I want you to put your dick in my mouth!” and the instant his penis comes to contact with my mouth, “ARF!” I’ll bite that shit off, it’s like a sense of a second when his dick is far away enough in my mouth, it triggers a little switch and then “CLICK!” my jaw shuts! Should I be known that the dick snapped in turtle!

                And I’m not talking about a little bite either. I’m biting it off! Dislocate that motherfucker! I’ll be chopping on it! “Arf arf arf!” chew it in my mouth like that so we can see what’s happening to his precious little penis! And then I’m gonna be like, “Yeah! Yeah motherfucker! Now what? Whatcha gonna do now huh? Whatcha gonna get away with now huh? Your fingers? Your toes? Imma bite that shit off too!”

                However, I am gonna have to ask you to put that baseball bat down, okay? I can bite your penis and your fingers off, but if you start raping me with a baseball bat, hmmm, I don’t know what I’m gonna do then…

                If I die now or I die after he stopped raping me and, you know, if I have to take one for the team, if my death would result in the motherfucker losing his penis, and not being able to rape anybody else ever again, then I guess I have no choice…

                And girls, girls have a bigger advantage because they have two sets of teeth because it’s common knowledge that the interior of the vagina is lined with teeth, right?

                So next time you encounter a wild penis, use BITE! Super effective!

wasn’t excited for summer for the first time…

birthday movie

dead fantasy

ito ang bago kong kinakaadikan! dead fantasy! i just love these kinds of animations! it’s actually a mixture of final fantasy and well… dead or alive. visit my friendster profile and experience the magic! in tagalog, nasa profile ko sa friendster ung  complete series ng dead fantasy! visit ka ha! green_apples@ymail.com! yan ung email ko anywhere around the globe! facebook, twitter, ym, official email ko tlaga to! now add me up!

do UC?

this is my alma matter, my ever loving UC… unfortunately hndi n ko dyan ngaaral but UC will always be in my extra ordinary fabulous heart! grabe andami pang survivors ng uc o! andito p c carlo, elvira, joshua, rose anne, murray, c murray b un? camarillo brothers, feeling ko kilala ko ung katabi ng katabi ni carlo n nakawhite

 miss ko n tlga ang UC…!then ung pxur s taas n may 5 guys, c richard daw ung nakawhite, elisha daw ung nka-aquamarine, elisha who?…abello? then c joshua ung nkablue and c carlo ung nka-white. 3rd place c richard s slogan, c elisha, 2nd place s jingle, c joshua, 1st place s bulletin and c carlo 3rd place s cooking…grabe kung mgblog ako feeling ko kilalang-kilala ko sila… o xa goodbye na!!!

i hate field trips!

Joke lang!! of corz i luv field trips… ung pixurs sa baba ung latest field trip ng rosebelle academy! uhuh angganda nung school may swimming pool may air-con, colorful classrooms, may computer subject, cool science laboratory and everything!!!

  anyway… diba field trips pinaguusapan? nung 2007, first enchanted field trip ng rosebelle sa AVILON ZOO and ENCHANTED KINGDOM! angganda! nakakita ako ng dragon s AVILON ZOO! hindi mythical dragon ha… modern dragon! tapos angmahaaaaaaaaal ng pagkain s avilon! tapos january 2008, pumunta kami s STAR CITY, MUSEO PAMBATA and some kinda PUPPET SHOW…o diba bunggang-bungga ang rosebelle!tapos may field trip din pala sa school namin!november 2008, STAR CITY ULET so 2 times ako s star city nung 2008, pumunta rin kami nun s marikina, tinour namin buong MARIKINA, puro xa pink! andMALL OF ASIA! and well… 2009 field trip, napagisip-isip ko n mas mgnda kung may dala akong cam so ayan… may pixurs na ko! enchanted remembranzz… pumunta rin kami ng LA MESA ECO PARK!…and MANUEL QUEZON’S…um…i dont know, like, SHRINE? tapos ENCHANTED KINGDOM!

3…2…1…Kaboom

sumayaw kmi ng in the ayer… bunggang bungga! 

tapos sandamakmak ung pera n nakuha namin! ta’s kumain kami ng lahat ng klase ng pagkain! tapos samin ung pinaka magandang fireworks sa buong city!!! o diba xoxales…

keep in touch… dami p ko ipopost…

taxicab-bayo

nasa taxi kami dito after ng graduation ni ate joyce, my cuzzin!

hala nakakabore ung graduation ha pero worth it nman, enjoy…

may enjoy b na boring?… wierd hah

grabe nakalimutan ko n kung anong nxt n nangyari…

jam’s b-day

ito ung b-day nung bunso kong cuzin

ang saya! actually catering yan from jollibee sa paranaque! paranaque nga b un? ngpalagay p kmi ng body paints! o diba xoxal! tapos ng hephep hooray kme! tapos bottomless jollibee sundaes, actually bottomless jollibee products xa… nakarami lng tlga ako s sundaes! tapos naguwi ako ng balloons! o diba!!!